The day I found out that the world has a unique way of revealing what needs to be corrected in life

This afternoon is cloudy. The streets are just as crowded as yesterday during work hours in Jakarta.

I lay in my room and looked out the window. Tears streamed down my face as I wondered why I felt such a sharp pain, although I wasn’t sad anymore.

I thought you would prioritize your own self-care and communicate your feelings to those you care about in a kind and direct manner. However, it seems this is not the case, and it is disappointing to realize that my assumptions about you were incorrect. Perhaps I have a tendency to make premature judgments about others that I need to correct.

How foolish I am to constantly judge you without learning from my past mistakes. How will I ever find the right person if I continue to make the same misjudgements? I feel like a withered flower, nestled in a hill and waiting for rain. I tell myself that relief is in sight as soon as I see a shadow of a cloud.

The way I perceived others was disappointing myself.

I think you are as good as you appear. From your appearance, your cautiousness in speech, and your past decisions, I believe you are an intelligent person at an advanced stage of maturity. You will prioritize self-focus, self-liberation, and empathy for others’ struggles. I think you require more than just a fleeting acquaintance to develop feelings. Seeking an escape is far from your intentions.
Frankly, I was disappointed in my own thinking, and I was forbidden from making judgments about others, much less seeing them from a single point of view. Let me close my eyes with both hands before I judge myself.

I know it isn’t your fault. It’s not your traits. I judged you and made conclusions. Though it’s just in my head, I still feel guilty.

We are just like different radio stations, broadcasting at different frequencies. We may share similarities, like the last person I met, but that doesn’t make it a negative thing. It takes both openness and kindness to recognize that diversity is an inherent part of life. Differences make our time on this earth all the more vibrant, much like how we met each other.

And I arrived at a pivotal point in an initial meeting. If I could broaden my perspective on my life, perhaps you and I would be mere acquaintances that crossed paths by chance. I was walking while hungry, and we coincidentally bumped into each other.

Well, this is what I have written in November last year.