Finding Solace in My Own Tears
Right now, all I long for is to go home, but the rain comes, carrying with it stories I’m not yet ready to face. I need time — time to accept the weight of today, time to release these pent-up emotions, to draw in a deep breath without feeling like I’m suffocating. My chest feels heavy, my mind overwhelmed, my heart bitter. I need time to embrace the pain I’ve responded to today, the hurt I’ve absorbed.
Today, I choose forgiveness. Whether it was my fault or someone else’s, it doesn’t matter. Nothing has been taken from me. Life is simply teaching me to grow, reminding me to always pray for kindness — especially for myself.
When I close my eyes, the tears come, unstoppable. And then I realize that crying isn’t just a sign of weakness. It’s my way of releasing all that weighs me down, of accepting the chaos — good or bad, favorable or not. Tears, I believe, are Allah’s way of giving us strength, of healing us through pain. This is my way of finding solace, of quieting my heart.
Perhaps others have their own ways of dealing with the storms of life, and that’s okay. As long as we have a way to reflect, to rebuild our spirit.
I decided to let the delicate piano notes of Shin Giwon’s Cheers to Youth wash over me. In just a few seconds, it brought me enough comfort to cry once more. As I wiped away my tears, I reminded myself that I’ve done enough today — I’ve been strong enough to hold on and to keep trying.
It’s okay if today wasn’t perfect. It’s okay if there were cracks, if there were gaps. It’s okay if the circle I tried to draw came out more like an oval. It’s okay if things didn’t turn out flawless. It’s okay that all of this happened. I lack nothing. I am still whole. I am still enough.
Tomorrow, we’ll try again, alright? We’ll mend today’s cracks. We’ll grow and flourish once more. We’ll bloom again. We’ll shine brightly again.
It’s okay if sometimes we fade for a moment, to remind ourselves of our fragility and imperfections as human beings. Tomorrow, we’ll find the light once more. Tomorrow, we’ll embrace happiness again.
Dear myself, thank you for holding on. You are strong, and you will keep getting stronger, no matter how you choose to soothe your soul and accept life’s twists and turns. You are extraordinary, with all the highs and lows that make up your story.
Thank you for enduring, for growing, for rising. ☺
